“Performative males” are frequently found roaming the streets with their wide-legged jeans, tote bags, dark green matchas, “Lafufus” and feminist novels in hand. In this newly curated TikTok trend, men adopt feminine interests to appear more attractive to potential partners by adapting to the “female gaze.” Although “performative males” are usually viewed negatively, this trend actually dismantles gender norms by redefining male stereotypes and allowing men to freely explore new hobbies and tastes.
Masculinity has historically been defined through dominance, strength and emotional restraint. Men were praised for providing stability and suppressing their vulnerability. These ideals have created toxic expectations for men, discouraging them from pursuing unique interests or forms of self-expression.
The “performative male” trend breaks traditional gender norms. It encourages men to dabble in hobbies that are usually associated with women without judgement or societal pressure to conform to masculinity. Justin Huang (III), who can be seen in wide-legged, dark-washed pants on the daily, adds, “It is socially acceptable to do ‘performative’ things. Everyone is ‘performative’ in some way. Culture today is built on different personalities and interests grouped together, including the clothes we wear, the music we listen to and what we drink. It’s a way of showing who we are.”
Being “performative,” however, is genuinely harmful when people try appealing to the opposite sex through fake interests and actions. They should not twist the trend into a deceptive guise for romantic pursuits. After all, most individuals look for authenticity, an eagerness to learn more and genuine passion in others, not inappropriate usages of performativity. Elaine Shi (III) comments, “It’s sad to see people posing themselves as a character they aren’t for women’s validation. […] [“Performative males”] are hiding their genuine personalities and all [of them] are copy-and-pastes of each other. They try to pose as this one perfect person.” The vast majority of “performative males,” however, only contribute to the trend for laughs and know how to differentiate online humor from reality.
Many people now may also feel uncomfortable when partaking in once-enjoyable activities. Several valid pastimes like reading or enjoying matcha have been inadvertently labeled as “performative.” Others may be judged for experimenting with things they discovered online. The true benefit of the “performative male” trend lies not in criticizing others, but in its ability to spark social mobilization. Countless people have connected over lighthearted memes and jokes.
Boston Latin School English and history teacher Mr. Andy Zou states, “All hobbies are good if you do it because you love it. Don’t let anyone else stop you. […] If you like beabadoobee, then listen to beabadoobee. If you genuinely love drinking matcha lattes, then drink matcha lattes. If you like reading, then continue to read, [even] if you’re a male into […] gender studies.”
Rather than interpreting this trend as an invitation to shun others for trying things, we should consider it as an opportunity to explore new hobbies and promote character development. Often, many people scoff at the insincerity of “performative males” as they listen to Laufey and unbox “Lafufus.” The conversations about gender norms and social acceptance that “performative males” evoke, however, are anything but superficial. Take a look beyond the surface, and you will find that the “performative male” is much more than a silly internet fad.