Q: I feel like I’m getting more and more distant from one of my closest friends. I love her, but sometimes spending time with her is so exhausting. I feel like she always dominates the conversations and never makes an effort to ask me how I’m doing. We’re really close friends, and I honestly can’t think of a time when she asked me about myself. I know that she wants to be friends with me because she always talks to me about her life, but it always feels one-sided!! What do I do!!!

M: First, let me just say I completely understand your situation. Things like this can lead you to believing you are not valued in your friendship and can even make you second guess how much of a true friend this person really is. But just as some tough love — lock in and set that boundary. If you never tell her, she’ll never know, and that’s the absolute worst possible outcome. I’m certain that just a little communication from your end can get you a long way. And if that doesn’t work, idk girl, light that friendship on fire and pray.

Q: I feel like I can’t talk about personal things with one of my best friends. She’s super nice but always says things like “no, so real” in a tone that makes me feel like she doesn’t actually care.

M: If a deeper connection is what you’re looking for with your friend, call that out!! The right people will understand if you start a conversation with “hey, I could really use a shoulder to lean on or someone to vent to right now” every once in a while.

H: I have to agree with Milda on this one. I feel like healthy communication habits are so easily overlooked. Specifically when wondering about another’s feelings, the best thing to do is ask about what you want to know! Unless you’re a psychic, there likely won’t be another way.

I: There may be some reason your friend feels uncomfortable having vulnerable conversations. Do your part by trying to recognize and respect your friend’s boundaries, but also stand your ground in what you want from your friendship. If vulnerability is important to you in friendships (which I think it should be), then I agree with Milda and Hayden that the best way to move forward is by honestly addressing the issue with your friend.

Q: I’m having a hard time picking a college and evaluating my different options. I’m scared to make the wrong choice, and I’m not sure what I should prioritize when picking a school.
– Ms. Indecisive

I: As I’m writing this, I’m on my way home from an admitted students’ day. It can definitely feel overwhelming to have the ball be in your court after months of waiting for results, but you should recognize the privilege and joy of having options to debate! My advice is to visit your options, weigh the facts (academic opportunities, social life, financial burden, etc.) and decide which of the variables matters most to you. Drown out the noise of everyone else’s opinions, because it’s you and you only that has to (gets to) attend this school for the next three or four years. That being said, if you know you’re someone who often makes impulsive decisions, don’t disregard your future self. College should be fun, but when making your decision, consider the responsibilities you will have post-graduation. And if you’re REALLY stuck, choose the college with the prettiest colors!

Q: People say junior year is the worst year of high school — is that true?

M: It all depends on your classes. I know some of my friends think junior year was the worst possible year of their lives, but junior year was my personal favorite. You start to feel a bit older, you can get your license and, if you have a good mix of stimulating and easy classes (I always recommend taking an art/creative class in junior year), it’ll be a breeze. Can’t save you on that SAT though — it just all around sucks. But good luck!!

I: Like Milda, junior year was my favorite year of high school. Everyone has a different experience but I found it to be the perfect balance of responsibility compared to the other years of high school. College applications haven’t actually started (you won’t truly know that pain until the summer and senior year).

Q: Is it smart to go to college in a relationship? How do I know there isn’t someone better for me out there?

H: This isn’t a question of wise or unwise; it’s more about if both you and the other person are ready to move into this new phase of life together. When it comes down to it, if two people want to make something work, they will find a way for that to happen no matter what the circumstances are. Because at the end of the day, you don’t know who is out there, or how much the college environment will affect your desire to be in a relationship, if at all. Judging by questioning “someone better” being out there, though, I can infer that you may already have an answer to your question and just needed a cosign. However, one thing I can steer you clear of is the illusion that you can maintain both a relationship and the search for someone better. Recipe. For. Disaster.

M: P.S., H.I.M. is not liable for any breakups/heartbreaks!

Q: How do I deal with the truth that all my friends are going their separate ways for college and that things won’t be the same again?
– Sad gorl

I: I feel your sadness! It’s hard to say goodbye to the people we’ve grown close with. Appreciate that this sadness means you’ve built bonds worthy of missing. Another thing that helps me cope with the sadness is simply focusing on the pride I feel for my friends’ accomplishments and the exciting futures I know they have ahead of them. Besides, the bonds that are worth keeping won’t just disappear with distance, even if they require a bit more work to maintain. Don’t be afraid of putting in that extra effort.

Q: Biggest takeaway from high school?

H: Align and surround yourself with people who have habits you’d want to have.

I: You never know what someone else is going through — exercise understanding and empathy. Kindness is one of the few things in life that you’ll never regret.

M: In reality, high school is like one big LinkedIn thread. Always take the time to socialize and make connections with future geniuses!