How many would kill for the chance to meet Timothée Chalamet or Jenna Ortega? People often idolize their favorite actors and actresses and develop a celebrity crush — for good reason; they are incredibly attractive people, and it is harmless to dream. Concerns about celebrity crushes in high school relationships are overstated and a sign of insecurity, not emotional connection.
In a healthy relationship, a deep connection far exceeds what a distant celebrity fantasy offers. Appreciating the looks and apparent personalities of Harry Styles or Tyla does not pose a danger to an interpersonal relationship, since a true and loving connection exceeds superficiality.
For those who may still be concerned, take comfort in the fact that your significant other likely does not have the charisma or audacity to meet their celebrity crush, let alone score a date behind your back. Allison Geronimo (III) echoes this sentiment, noting, “The person probably knows they never have a chance.”
From the get-go, the idea of a celebrity crush is not too serious, and it should be treated as such. If a partner is concerned about something as trivial as their boyfriend or girlfriend finding someone on television attractive, the relationship is already insecure and has bigger problems to deal with. Katelyn Le (I) adds, “It’s a question of how secure the relationship is. It’s almost like asking, ‘do you think your partner should be able to go out to party or have friends of the opposite gender?’”
View celebrity crushes as a litmus test: if you cannot handle your partner finding another human attractive, you need to have a serious conversation about the expectations in your relationship. It is much better to figure this out in the dating stage during high school than in the “real world,” where shared rents and legally-binding marriages get involved.
Celebrity crushes, moreover, can be a source of bonding instead of division, if handled correctly. If you feel confident in your relationship, you can watch movies or enjoy music from artists that both parties find appealing, making everybody happy. If one of you has a crush on Margot Robbie and the other likes Ryan Gosling, try firing up Barbie and some popcorn — you are sure to have a good time.
Some people, however, are admittedly misguided and take their crushes too far. Boston Latin School science teacher Mr. Conor Fearon defines the point where this obsession becomes unhealthy: “If you’re starting to miss out on other things for this person you don’t even know, then that’s going too far.” This situation, however, is not as common, especially in a committed relationship.
To avoid this, make sure that you have an active, loving relationship where neither party gets distracted by celebrities. This demonstrates the importance of celebrity crushes: if you find yourself thinking about them too much, it is a sign that you should reflect on what is going on in your life that leads you to think about faraway strangers more than people beside you everyday.
Also, make sure to establish clear boundaries for your relationship from the beginning to avoid any miscommunication. A celebrity crush should be something both of you can share as an icebreaker or on a first date while sipping on some Starbucks iced coffee.
Far from disrupting otherwise meaningful relationships, celebrity crushes serve as an invaluable tool for gauging insecurities and setting boundaries while dating in high school. Celebrity crushes are harmless in 99.9 percent of situations, since they do not represent a genuine relationship. If your relationship is ingenuine, you may have a problem — but it is better to figure that out sooner rather than later. So be patient, have empathy and indulge in your celebrity crushes in a healthy way!