How to get W rizz?

Z: Like, what does W rizz even mean, because I am literally just my authentic self (unsettling, hyper, a bit silly) and people gravitate towards me. I genuinely do not know what I am doing. Not even saying I pull like crazy, I think I just attract the person I need to be with at the given point of my life they come to me.

P: I could not tell you if my life was on the line, unfortunately.

How do I get away from someone that wont leave me alone??? I’ve tried all of the above 🙁

Z: Genuinely, tell them to *frick* off. Like people genuinely cannot take notes sometimes unless you are sooooo clear.

P: Be explicit. Do not leave a single word to be left with an interpretation. Every single word you use has meaning.

Z: Sometimes, it’s okay to be mean. Some people only understand you once you snap at them for some odd reason.

What’s the best way to balance academics and your love and social life without completely ghosting your friends?

Z: Personally I am a huge advocate for Google Calendar <3, but I feel like I can’t answer this because I barely balance school, love life and extracurriculars, but in all seriousness, I plan weeks in advance and then I have a set schedule I can follow. I’m never lost and nothing ever catches me off guard because I have my calendar to reference!

P: At a certain point, though, if you’re scheduling your entire life like a celebrity then you’re going to be miserable because there is never time for living in the moment. There are things you should schedule (like dates, reservations, exams and doctors appointments), but don’t turn into a person who ends up only being available six weeks in advance.

What do I do when people misgender me but I’m too shy to correct them?

Z: I’m such a hypocrite because I never correct people when they misgender me… It’s very scary and easy to feel like an inconvenience when the discussion around genderqueer identities is typically something like “it’s so HARD to understand” or your gender identity is straight up described to be irrational. It can really make you feel like an inconvenience. However, I have found that the type of people who care about you will be willing to try to understand. If anything, correcting your peers is a good way to see if they actually respect you.

P: The people that care about you will never see the correction as mean or anything, so don’t worry about it being annoying or an inconvenience.

1. How do you know if you want to go by a different name?

*Note: I sign my name as Zoe on formal documents and my Argo bylines but I go by Z in my personal life.* 

Z: The thought process behind wanting to go by a different name usually starts with feeling insecure in one’s identity due to the connotation around their name. Or something like “I want to be perceived differently or the way I am perceived does not align with who I am.” If you are taking the time to ask me this question though…

2. What are some things you should consider when choosing a new name?

a. Consider practicality. Some people choose to go by Rock or Moss and that’s okay! You do you! But who you are starts now. People will know you by your name, so when you think about advancing into adulthood (if you plan to make this name permanent), it is important to think about how you will be perceived in the professional world. For example, your resume. People of color struggle all the time with their credentials being dismissed because of an ethnic name (look it up, there’s studies on this). Obviously, these are two completely different issues, but all in all, people WILL judge you by what you’re called. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with anyone’s name, but it really just becomes a question of how much harder you want to make your life. I think the intersection between “this makes me feel comfortable” and “I wont get discourse based on what I’m called” is very attainable.

b. Why do you want to change your name? I know you say later on in this question that you have a gendered legal name, so you want to choose a name that is more stereotypically ungendered. Obviously, we as a society are moving away from saying who can be feminine and who can be masculine, but I understand that feeling feminine may not be your thing because of your gender identity. Therefore, I would do research on gender fluid names. For example you have names like Sawyer and Quinn (fun fact: my final senior capstone project is a 40 min film and that’s what I named my two characters because I wanted their names to be ungendered). 

c. Choose a name that fits you! Imagine scenarios where people call you this name. Does it make you feel good? Empowered? Uncomfortable?