As winter descends upon us, the hallways of Boston Latin School are abuzz with the energy of the holiday season: eagerness for the holiday break, anxiety over term exams and… the commencement of “cuffing season” (for the uninitiated, it’s the time of year from October to March when single people look for romantic partners). And just as grades on SIS reset at the beginning of the second term, so too can hopes for finding a partner.
Now, there will be skeptics and haters out there who claim that cuffing season is all about conforming to the expectation of finding a partner, only adding unnecessary chaos to an already hectic school life. To that, we say, “Embrace the chaos.” Even if you don’t partake, there’s something heartwarming about the idea of seeing others around you connect with people who make them feel happy — an emotion often lost in the everyday mayhem of BLS life.
But, if you’re ready to exit the sidelines and enter the fray, be ready to dive headfirst into the benefits of the season! For starters, you can expect companionship, the dissipation of the fear of missing out (FOMO) and gift-giving, as you and your partner are brought together by a mutual desire for company and bonding over the cold Boston winter.
Indeed, the holidays offer an annual opportunity to ask out one of your peers, armed with the knowledge that you are one of many hopefuls dipping your toes in the romantic waters.
This is not to say there will not be challenges, but that is inherent in any human relationship, regardless of whether it’s romantic or merely a friendship. And, by getting a feel for what dating is really like in a relatively low-stakes environment, you are better prepared for future romantic success. It is important, nevertheless, to not get too caught up in the moment and keep your eye on the prize: finding the person who’s right for you.
Shriya Chan (II) says, “There [are] definitely moments that [are] hard. If you’re with the right person, it’s worth it in the end. The more time you spend with your partner, the more you feel better.”
Some BLS students are unsure of the merits of dating during cuffing season, particularly because the relationships are temporary by nature. Benjamin Leung (III) comments, “If it doesn’t really lead anywhere, why? What’s the purpose? I mean, it probably makes you sad for no reason.”
Others believe that it is more crucial to dedicate this time to strengthening one’s bonds with family members instead of desperately searching for love that is not yet defined, or nearly as significant, during the holiday season.
BLS long-term substitute teacher Mr. Danny DeVelis advises, “Celebrate those that are already important in your life. You’ll feel far more fulfilled than just trying to implant a stranger who simply isn’t that significant of an other to you.”
While that is a fair assessment for some relationships — provided the two people in the couple know that cuffing-season relationships tend to be short-lived (and high school romances in general, for that matter) — you can still reap the benefits of the relationship.
There is also the oft-cited hit to academics associated with high schoolers dating, but relationships are merely a reflection of one’s priorities. If you are the type of person who would rather rock the single life with the confidence of someone who knows how to operate a Netflix account, that is your prerogative. If you are able to strike a balance between school and dating, however, you can both improve your time management skills and have fun.
Chan reflects on her own relationship, “Sometimes it’s easy to get distracted because you want to talk to this person so much, but you have to realize that we both have school, and I just tell him that I have schoolwork to do. It’s like a reward in a way, after schoolwork.”
Keep in mind that there is also the off-chance that a cuffing-season relationship, inspired by a desire to find someone to spend the dark winter season with, can blossom into something long-lasting. Who knows, maybe the person you end up spending the rest of your life with is walking somewhere in these halls; all you need to do is look.