Hey Argo! I am wondering what I should do if I’m in a relationship and my s/o isn’t putting in as much effort as I am.

Dear Anonymous,

I’m so sorry, that sounds really difficult. Relationships take a lot of time and effort, and it’s important that both parties are invested. The most important thing to consider in this situation is communication. You need to let your partner know how their lack of effort is making you feel. It’s possible that your partner has no idea that they haven’t been involved enough in your relationship. Your partner’s effort may also just look different than yours. Everyone has a different love language, and they may be expressing theirs in a way you haven’t yet noticed. 

  If after communicating with your partner you feel things still haven’t changed, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. Ask yourself, are you AND your partner willing to put in the work to save your relationship? What emotional work needs to be done? Does being with your partner still make you happy? 

I hope this helps, 

Emilia

How to study for a test when the teacher doesn’t even freaking teach you that thing and instead teaches you something else so the average is a 60 and you went R1 so no one got 100 in your section help.

Dear suffering math student,

Don’t worry, I think most of us at BLS have been there. I have had frustrating experiences with teachers myself. Having to take a test you have no idea how to complete is the absolute worst.

There are a few things you can do to bring up your math grade. First, reach out to your guidance counselor. They can connect you with tutoring services across the school; for example, you can be paired with an upperclassman who has already taken your course.

If talking to your guidance counselor seems too daunting, then maybe talk to a former math teacher. Do you have a teacher from seventh or eighth grade that you loved? Stop by their class after school one day and see if they can answer any of your questions.

Don’t forget you can always turn to the internet! Boston Public Schools has a great resoure called Paper which offers tutoring 24/7. You can find this by logging into Clever or sometimes it will just pop up on your screen. Another helpful online resource, for those of us who have a hard time talking to strangers online, is Khan Academy. They have free videos for entire courses, so maybe give them a try. You got this!

Emilia 

There’s this person that I was really close with last year and at one point had a crush on, but we drifted apart over the summer and winter break. I want to talk to them again, but things just aren’t what they used to be. Should I just stop and find someone new who would be easier to talk to?

Dear Bawling in Boston,

I have totally been there. Drifting away from friends is tough, especially when there’s no real reason for the friendship to end. The worst feeling is when something reminds you of them and you want to text them, but you feel like you can’t. It’s time for you to leave that feeling behind.

First, I want you to consider that maybe this person misses you too. They were close to you for a reason, and unless you truly screwed them over  (which I don’t think you did), they probably miss the friendship from time to time. There is, however, also a chance that they purposefully distanced themselves from you, and while that is an unpleasant reality, it’s one you should be prepared for.

There’s no harm, nonetheless, in reaching out one more time. You should ask them to hang out, in person, and based on their response, you’ll be able to settle this internal debate. If they respond positively, you’ll have your chance to finally reconnect. If they are vague or they flake, it has to be the end. Give them the chance to show you how they feel.

Either way, it’s never a bad thing to find new people to talk to. Don’t let the potential of this friendship stop you from making new friends and new connections. And if this person lets you down, remember: it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of great friends or relationships. Good luck!

Love, 

Mary

How do you choose when you have options for something? Is there a better strategy than eeny meeny miny mo?

Dear Anonymous, 

All you need to do is an intuition test. Grab a coin and you’re ready to begin! Assign one option to be heads and the other to be tails and flip a coin. Then do whatever it landed on.

Haha, just kidding. Once you see the result of that coin, pay attention to how it makes you feel. Are you relieved? Great, then your choice is made. If you’re disappointed, then do the other thing. You have to trust your gut!

Best of luck,

Mary

hi. How to pronounce data? date-a? Dat-a?

Dear Anonymous, 

Date-a. If you say dat-a you are just trying to sound fancy (which can be fun). Or you’re British.

Chip Chip Cheerio, 

Mary