How to get better (grades) in subjects like ela and humanities or anything related to those subjects. – Anonymous

Howdy Anon,

ELA and Humanities aren’t easy, but with our tips, you’ll be crushing it. A lot of how work is graded depends on the teacher, and there’s a wide range. Also, “better” is based on where your bar currently is better from the ground? Better from the chair? A couch? The list goes on and on. Assuming you mean better from subpar to amazeballs, we’ve got some work. Ask yourself, “Am I reaching my full potential?” To be honest, we’re pretty sure this question is generic. If the answer is no, then we have a starting point.

Grades are all about perspective too. For example, we change our perspective to see that “C’s get degrees.” Once you hit junior year you’ll probably change your view too. But, we think you can get the grade you’re searching for.

Staples sells some really luxurious white-out… BAM! That F? Draw a line, and it’s an A!! See, perspective. Of course, this doesn’t work in SIS, obviously. So some more sustainable strategies might be needed.

“Sparknotes,” can’t recommend enough — for reviewing material (definitely not learning it). “Shmoop” for a more detailed review, and if you’re feeling adventurous, even the actual material helps. We know writing is hard, but Grammarly can help. Your writing is grammatically correct, but it’s wordy and hard to read. If Grammarly doesn’t work out, peer editing is always a great option.

All else fails? Fake it until you make it; we know we’ve been doing that.

How do you communicate with a hamster that’s currently going through its teenage phase? – Hampter

Bonjour Hampter,

We hope you had luck giving your hamster a happy healthy life! We see that they’re going through some difficult changes, but it’s probably nothing you can’t handle. Hamsters, as we’re sure you know, can be closed off creatures; sometimes they’re a handful, literally.

Firstly, let them express themselves: it’s their body. If they wanna dye their fur green and look like barf, let them. It may be rather stinky in the cage too if they go through that weird neon athletic clothes and Axe body spray phase. Sooner or later, they’ll move on to nothingness, closed doors, nights with no sleep, bloodshot eyes, meh moods — who knows, maybe your hamster is actually a vampire?

Second, they might talk to you, maybe. If they do listen without judgment, remember, the next thing your hamster would want is someone with the Grinch- like expressions being their therapist.

Thirdly, don’t be afraid to set limits for your hamster, but be sure to let them express themselves or they may feel the urge to escape. And don’t forget it’s not “just a phase” to them, but hopefully, it will be for your sake.

Also, thank you for entrusting us with such an important life; we look forward to meeting your hamster one day, or even just learning their name.

Hi! I’m in the middle of an emotional crisis right now. I have my first gay crush ever and I don’t know what to do. Any other time I tell someone I like them, it never goes well and I end up losing a friend. I’ve known this person for about 3 years and I’d like to keep talking to them. Do I tell them how I feel or do I just keep it to myself ? – Closeted Queer

Hey there CQ,

Falling for a friend can be a tricky situation, and we’re sorry to hear that you are in a state of distress, but never fear! You have a variety of options to look at here, with the two most obvious being telling this person, or keeping your crush a secret. While honesty is almost always the best policy, you may want to test the waters a little bit. Things could get awkward quickly, so we recommend finding out a few things first.

First of all, find out if they are straight. If the answer to that is yes, then you might be out of luck. There’s not much (well, there’s not anything) you can do if that’s the case, so it’s best to try to let it go. If the answer is no, then you may have a shot!

Now it’s time to keep an eye out for some hints that they could be into you, and make sure to drop some yourself. If the vibe isn’t there, then it might be time to cue some sad Taylor Swift music and take a step back for a bit. But if things seem to be moving in the right direction, then it’s time to move onto step three.

If all goes according to plan, then it’s a great time to tell them how you feel, if you’re prepared for whatever comes after. If you’re a close friend of this person, then likely all will be okay no matter the outcome, really! If you’re still hesitant to tell them, there is no rush, but if you’re ready and comfortable, then go for it :). Wishing you the best of luck!

Hi, I’m an 8th grader who will be a freshman this September. I’m pretty nervous about making new friends, a greater workload, and everything else that comes with high school, especially because I’ll have to adjust to in-person learning next year as well. Do you have any advice for how I can succeed with my schoolwork and maintain a social life as a freshman? Any things NOT to do? Anything I should get a head start on? Also all my friends have already started dating and developing really big friend groups while I haven’t, which is pretty daunting which I could use some help with too. Thank you so much! -8th grader

Hi 8th Grader,

We remember our own freshman year, and we won’t be the first people to tell you that times can get tough. It’s the first time in a while you’ve seen the light of day beyond the school basement, and the fresh air tends to get to your head. While you won’t have to deal with this altitude shift, you will have to cope with going back to in-person learning, which has its own set of challenges. How will we manage the treacherous climb to the third floor every morning? How will we make it across the school in under four minutes?

We suggest a small(ish) sturdy backpack. You may still be in possession of a sixie backpack, which is a risky move. A smaller backpack will not only aid you in your daily stair climb, but it will also help your breath control, allowing you to socialize more with people as you walk the BLS halls once again.

In terms of workload, create a schedule and use that agenda book! The workload should not be a dramatic shift, so if you have the hang of it now, you’re in good shape. If you’re not doing so hot right now, it’s never too late. End this year off strong and go into next year ready to crush it.

The social life aspect of ninth grade is more challenging. This will be your first year out of clusters, which is a great chance to meet others, but can also be overwhelming. If you want to make new friends, we advise joining a club or sport you’re interested in. Ninth grade is a great time to try new things, and extracurriculars give a sense of community. We promise, you have all of high school to develop friendships, and it really does get easier with time.

As for what you should get a head start on, those volunteer hours aren’t going anywhere. And as we said before, it’s also a good idea to commit to activities you’re interested in. It can be a fantastic time to get involved with the school. You’ll do great next year, and we hope the end of 8th grade is excellent. 🙂

How to get to know people that you don’t know really well, such as your crush, a person from a different cluster, and you teachers 🙂 – Anonymous

Hey A,

School actually makes it really easy to get to know people well; you’re around the same people all day! As you’ve probably seen in the last few issues, there’s tons of other people looking for friends. We’ve heard from a previous client that the bread-baking method we mentioned two issues ago is an excellent bonding exercise, so maybe start there? Clubs and sports will allow you to meet people in other clusters and grades and also give you some common ground. Some clubs we recommend are the Lettuce Club, the 3D Toad Club, and also the Argo (especially the A&E section).

Teachers can get to know you pretty well through assignments and quick chats before class, but you can also make the effort to talk outside of class, such as office hours.

You also meet some very interesting people wandering around the hallways (if you’re in person). The floor that someone is walking around can tell you a lot about their personality. Basement? Probably chill, just having a good time. Third floor? You know that they’re stressed about something, with that floor being the math and science floor. At the end of the day, it’s all about personality, so don’t be afraid to just walk up to someone and talk to them!

How can I start talking to my crush and become friends with them? – Anonymous

Cheerio Anon,

At the risk of friend-zoning yourself, here is an easy and quick way to start talking to your crush.

1. Walk up to them.
2. Repeat the words “Hi, I’m so tired” to start the conversation, foolproof.
3. Repeat the words “You’re cool, we’re friends now.”
4. (Optional, but recommended) Have them send homework help because you’re SO tired.

Please note that you may replace “Hi, I’m so tired” with “Hi, I’m so cold” for equally successful results. You might even get their sweatshirt out of it. 😉

I’m a rising junior and would like some advice on a relationship. In 6th grade, I met a boy. We dated 2x, but he was open and got physical quickly while I was shy and reserved, so both relationships ended in him dumping me. We’re currently texting and I have feel- ings for him, but he doesn’t. I think we have good convos over text, but he has told me times are tough twice and ignored me. I discovered he sometimes drinks and does drugs, and I want to help him but idk how. He hasn’t been responsive and I try to let it slide, but I’m still upset. I’ve had feelings for him for 5+ years now and I’ve tried to suppress them, but I still feel attached and would like to get closer to him. – Anonymous

Hi Anon,

We would like to say that this is one of the few questions that we’re not qualified to answer, so we suggest seeking advice from a professional or trusted adult. But, thanks for trusting us with your question; it means a lot.

We’ll cut to the chase, there are A LOT of red flags here. Please, PLEASE make sure you are 110 percent OK with what you’re doing; don’t let someone pressure you into doing something you’re not.

We understand you still have feelings for him, and they’re valid, but you have to let go. Although you’ve had good conversations with him over text, texting is not the same as an actual conversation. Besides, he doesn’t  seem to value your relationship like you do, which you don’t deserve.

He seems to be going through something too, but remember that you’re still in high school and the burden shouldn’t fall on you. There are ways to help him without hurting yourself in the process. We recommend mentioning your concerns about him to a trusted adult. Getting over people can take time and isn’t easy, but keep your friends close and don’t be afraid to move on; there are plenty of people out there who will value you and your feelings. You’re still young. You have a whole life ahead of you, so don’t let one thing cloud your teenage years.

To sum things up, don’t wait around for someone who isn’t doing the same for you, and please prioritize your comfort and safety. We wish you the best in getting over him, and reach out for help if you need it.